Facebook Status Updates, Tweets of the Week

All hail the return the return of one of my favorite things to blog about... Here are your Facebook Status Updates and Random Tweets of the week:

Cannibal jokes are never not funny.

Junk mail means full employment for trees. You like trees, right? Trees need the work.

One way we're better than Europe: our socialists are generally afraid to call themselves socialists.

Has decided that I'm OK with gay marriage, but I am totally against gay divorce! Hey, you fight this hard for something, be prepared to stick with it!

Time magazine is being blasted for a cover photo of a mother breast feeding her THREE year old son. THREE?? It's going to be tough to pack that lunch when he goes to pre-school next year!

Yahoo's CEO is accused of lying about having a bachelor's degree in computer science. Officials at Yahoo said they didn't notice the deception until they "Googled" him.

Best iPhone app I've downloaded all year: Wolfgang's Vault. Hundreds of live concert performances from hundreds of bands. You're welcome.

John Brantley gets signed by Ravens while Jordan Jefferson gets waved by the Bucs. #didyaseethatcoming

I have a list of lists today. #gonnabeabusyone

Jesus wasn't a wuss and we shouldn't be either. #livethelife

I had fries covered in crawfish etoufee for lunch. It hurts so good.

Per The Avengers: I have no words. My inner geek is completely satisfied.

Someone needs to take this day out behind the shed and put it out of its misery. #notgoingwell

I can't get the new Katy Perry song out of my head. Why would God let this happen?!?

Have a great weekend, folks.

May the Blog Be With You.