Fashion things you shouldn't try

I am not fashion expert, but at at 42, I know a few things I should not try — the button fly jeans I am wearing today is a good start...

I honestly hate these jeans, but they were the only thing I could grab quickly at the house this morning after my coffee exploded on me in the car.

I learned two lessons today:

1. A little crease in the rim of a to go coffee cup is weak enough to cause problems.

2. An active bladder and button fly jeans do not work well together.

This experience reminded me of some other fashion items that I have noticed recently. For instance, it didn't take me very long at all to realize I have no business darkening the doors of a Rue 21 store.

I was in there with my youngest son and quickly saw the looks from the "regulars." The stares were a cross between, "Oh, you don't belong here do you?" and "Are you a pedophile?"

Here are some other fashion observations:

Just because you graduated in 1987 and they have that year on their clothes, that doesn't mean you can wear garments from Aeropostale.

Tube tops didn't look good in the 70s and they don't look good now.

If you are going to wear pajama bottoms to Wal-Mart, please try to make it during sleeping hours.

The little horse and jockey on Polo shirts and the huge horse and jockey on the Polo Assn. shirts are not the same thing.

I am sure I will make mistakes in my wardrobe as well, but with a little help, we can make the world a much nicer place — or at least Wal-Mart.

May the Blog Be With You.