They Never Got A Bailout

Red Buttons was a well-known comedian in years gone by. His most famous bit usually came during the “Dean Martin Celebrity Roast” television specials.

Red would spout off about the fact they were have a dinner in honor of whoever was the “honored” that night, and that many famous people never “got a dinner.”

For example, Red would say, “Doctor Spock, who said, ‘Never raise your hand to your kids, it leaves your groin unprotected’... never got a dinner.”

The “never got a dinner” was funny, risky and always surprising. Sadly, Red died in 2006 and isn’t here to help us through today’s questionable economy with his unique sense of humor.

With America bailing out industries left and right — and with more lining up for their turn at bat, Red would have a field day with those who “never got a bailout.”

For instance:

The fast food industry, who said, “Have it your way, all the way to the cardiologist”… never got a bailout.

Or

The loan sharking industry, who said, “Breaking legs causes carpal tunnel”… never got a bailout.

Others…

The professional athletes coalition, who said. “We lost all our millions on bling and failed rap albums”… never got a bailout.

The Tobacco Trial Lawyers, who said, “Is there such a thing as fourth-hand smoke?”… never got a bailout.

The Corporate Board of Air America Radio, who said, “With Bush gone, we don’t have anything to talk about”… never got a bailout.

My apologies to the memory of Red Buttons… but I just couldn’t resist.

May The Blog Be With You.