With all the news surrounding President Obama and his choices for his cabinet. I would like to offer the following nominations… based on a long, thoughtful process.
Department of State
Secretary: Pope Benedict XVI
Everyone comes out to see him when he travels. And would you tell the Pope “no” when he’s negotiating?
Department of the Treasury
Secretary: Dave Ramsey
Smartest money man out there. Of course, the debt snowball would eliminate several government programs. “I’m sorry, but welfare is below the line right now.”
Department of Defense
Secretary: Master Chief from “Halo”
If you know him, then you know why.
Department of Justice
Attorney General: Judge Andrew Napolitano.
Whatever we need done, I am sure legalzoom.com has the right form.
Department of the Interior
Secretary: Ted Nugent
No one understands “Great America” better than this man. All Federal Parks would immediately see jumps in visitors thanks to the new “Big American Game Hunt” program.
Department of Agriculture
Secretary: Michael Szymanczyk, CEO of Phillip Morris USA.
If he can do for the food industry what he’s done for tobacco… well.
Department of Commerce
The GEICO Gekko
If he can make insurance interesting, then other areas should be a piece of cake.
Department of Labor
Secretary: Jerry Lewis
Who can think of Labor Day without thinking of Jerry Lewis?
Department of Health and Human Services
Secretary: Klee Irwin, colon cleansing advocate
All problems solved — and flushed.
Department of Housing and Urban Development
Secretary: Ty Pennington
“Gentlemen, move that cabinet position.”
Department of Transportation
Secretary: Gary Kelly, Chairman of the Board, and Chief Executive Officer, and President of Southwest Airlines
“We are now free to move about the country.”
Department of Energy
Secretary: Louie the Lightning Bug
Because the oil industry doesn’t have a cute mascot.
Department of Education
Secretary: The entire cast of Sesame Street
They did more to educate kids than most of the education system
Department of Veterans Affairs
Secretary: John Rambo
Who else would “fight” for veterans?
Department of Homeland Security
Secretary: John McLean from Die Hard
Hasn’t he been doing this job already? “Yippie Ki Yay!”
I trust each of my nominees will be confirmed with no objections.
May The Blog Be With You.